Too anxious to go to school?

A child is stressed and doesn't want to come into school (often referred to as Emotionally Based School Avoidance) and I hear these words often - unfortunately sometimes from mental health and other professionals. I think it stems from adults feeling out of control and having the need to locate the problem in someone else because its so hard to accept that the problem is complex and not easily solvable. The problems is this line of thinking is counterproductive:

1. It ignores the voice of the child, teaching the child how they feel doesn't matter and won't be believed which adds to distress.

2. It misunderstands the fact these children have already been experiencing high levels of anxiety and the 'exposure' did not help them, it overwhelmed them. They are nearly always carrying years of stored up stress.

3. The 'problem' is located within the child.

4. The environment of school isn't adapted to support the child, or isn't adapted enough and changes are often too little or too late. This can be the case even in the most caring of environments.

5. Parents are treated as if they are the problem, often damaging the relationship with school. They are often put in an impossible position with contradictory advice e.g., charities such as Young Minds say don't force a child into school yet the messages they will get is ‘send them in’.